O.K. this needs some setup. The entire play (somewhat experimental) utilizes NO ACTORS ON STAGE... just 2 ANSWERING MACHINES.

Bob’s Machine
BEEP

JEN: Hi Bob? This is Jen... Jennifer? You left a message on my machine? Yes, I do remember you and coffee at Cafe Intermezzo tomorrow sounds great! Could we meet at 6 though? Tuesdays can be a little hectic at work. So,... guess I’ll see you at Cafe Intermezzo at 6, tomorrow, Tuesday! Bye.

Jen’s Machine
BEEP

MARY: So, Girlfriend... got home at 2 this morning, huh? This is Mary here. This Bob must be some hunk. I want details girl. Are you guys going out again? And the answer is ... no. He’s got to call you first. If he doesn’t call in 3 days... scratch him off your list. Tell me, tell me... I want to know all the nasty details!!!

Bob’s Machine
BEEP

JEN: Hey Bob. It's Jen. It's Friday. I just called to thank you for a wonderful evening on Tuesday. I really had a good time. It's surprising how the time passed so quickly. I was amazed at how much we had in common and... so... maybe we’ll do it again sometime. Bye.

Jen’s Machine
BEEP

MARY: Mary here. O.K. girlfriend, this Bob-o guy has got to be the biggest loser on the planet. I mean he doesn’t call --- write him off! And why did you call him? I told you not to. Duh! Look, I’ve got just the guy for you. His name is Chad and he’s just your type. Frank and I are going out to Livingstones for dinner tonight. We’ve made reservations for 4. I’ve invited Chad and you’re coming along. I’m not taking "no" for an answer, girlfriend. It's already been set up. Hey, it's Saturday night and I’m not about to leave you all pathetic alone at home. We’ll pick you up at 7.

BEEP

BOB: Hi Jen. Bob here. Sorry I didn’t call you earlier ... my boss sent me out of town on a project. I just got in this morning. But, before I left I managed to ... actually , I managed to get dinner reservations at Echo for tonight. Boy, those are tough to come by. I hope I’m not being presumptuous, but I thought we could have dinner together tonight. It's Saturday and I figured neither of us have to be at work tomorrow. Call me. I’d really like to see you again too.

Bob’s Machine
BEEP

JEN: Bob? (coughs) This is Jen. I really can’t go out tonight. I... I’m not feeling too well. Thanks though... perhaps some other time. (pause) Sorry. (coughs) Bye.

BEEP

MARTY: Hey, Bob..., dude, ole buddy, ole pal. Sure. Dinner tonight sounds great! I’ll meet you at.... Echo? That’s a pretty shi shi place, huh? Well... O.K.... I’m hip to that! Hey, what if after dinner we hit some of the old spots? You know... like the old days! I mean, we’ll be in the area. There’s Vici’s, Avalon... we could close out Livingstone’s like we use to. Par-tay with Bob and Marty! See you at eight, dude! Hey, it's a Saturday night... who knows... we could get lucky!

BEEP

MARTY: Bob? Marty. Thanks for getting me home, man. I realize it's 12:30 in the AM and you’re probably already asleep... unless you’re still out. I don’t blame you for being mad at me. I’m sorry about tonight, dude .... really. Hey, I didn’t leave my wallet in your car, did I?

Jen’s Machine
BEEP

BOB: Er, Jen? Bob here. I’m calling to apologize for last night. I was really surprised that we ran into you and... I’m sorry about my friend Marty? I’m sorry he puked all over your date at Livingstones last night. We had been hopping bars all evening and I guess Marty made the usual mistake of mixing drinks. Once again, I’m sorry your evening was cut short. Your friends... Mary and... Frank were very nice. (pause) And your friend Chad seems like a real nice guy. Bye.

Bob’s Machine
BEEP

JEN: Bob? It’s Jen. Listen Bob, I’m the one who should be apologizing. I shouldn’t have lied to you about being sick and all and... I mean, ... that was such a ‘high school’ thing to do.... and we’re both professional grownup people, right? (Pause) Can you ever forgive me? And as for Chad... I was set up on a blind date and I really couldn’t get out of it. Besides, Mary and Frank... they’ve been kind of rocky for the last couple of months. And Chad was a little too pompous for my taste. (pause) So, your friend Marty actually did me a favor in a strange sort of way. I hope he wasn’t driving... I hope he got home O.K.

Jen’s Machine
BEEP

Mary: Oh, Jen, Jen, Jen, Jen, Jen..... It’s 1:30 Sunday afternoon. And you’ll never guess who left only 30 minutes ago....( sultry giggles ) .... Frank and I finally had it out in the car after we dropped you off. It's over with him. I mean we both knew it was coming for a while... but the night was still young...so, decided to tear up the town a little. I went back to Livingstone’s and guess who I ran into in the parking lot? (squeals) Call me girl friend! And... your friend, Bob.... Call me we need to talk.

Bob’s Machine
BEEP

MARTY: Dude.... oh man! I called to tell you I found my wallet! I got Jack to drive me back last night and I found it... got my car back too. Oh man.... I also called to tell you that I’ll probably never, ever be able to walk again. And the worse part is.... I think I’m in love. I’m serious, man! I’m pretty sure that little cherub dude I’ve been hiding from all my life, finally sneaked up from behind and poked me good. We’re talking aftershocks, man! I’ve never ever experienced aftershocks. This has got to be the real thing, huh? Dude! What am I going to do? And you’ll never guess with who. Call me, man. We need to talk.

Jen’s Machine
BEEP

BOB: Hi Jen? It's Bob. I’m glad you called and... about last night? Lets just chalk it up to...no, lets just forget about the whole thing. Lets start fresh, O.K.? Er... I was wondering... have you spoken to your friend, Mary lately? Call me.

Bob’s Machine
BEEP

JEN: Bob? I got your message... I was hoping you’d be in but... yes, I did speak to Mary this afternoon. I take it you’ve spoken to your friend Marty. Funny how things happen, huh? Yeah, beginning fresh is a good idea. Tell me, do you have e-mail?

excerpt from "TWO ANSWERING MACHINES" copyright 1996 Marcel Nunis

For excerpts from other plays of mine that I've posted:
The Crimson Cobra
Bundle Of Wishes
The Dead Guy Show