Wow! Thanks to all of you who came by for HNT this week and leaving your kind comments. I really wasn't sure if I was going to be able to post this week as my schedule was looking pretty booked. But. alas... I managed to "frankenstein" some of my earlier HNT posts to cobble together this one. (It was also a sly way to provide you with chance to check those out if you hadn't already.) Once again, thanks for coming by and please visit again soon. I should be posting a new edition of Picture Daze sometime this weekend.

ANNOUNCEMENT: For you performer and artists types - the ROGUE PERFORMANCE FESTIVAL is accepting applications for the 2006 fest starting TODAY! Yes, I'm afraid the rumors are true... I am one of those demented nutzoids who started this insane tomfoolery 5 years ago... and is now stuck running it even though I've been trying to palm it off to someone else. (BTW this is going to soon limit my participation in HNT. Go ahead... breathe that sigh of relief.) So, please make my life worthwhile and APPLY, dammit!

And on to something else...

Last night I was checking comments on a previous post on this blog and I came across this:
  • Congratulations! Your site has been reviewed by Malaysia Business and Consumer website for your site to be included at the web directory.
HUH?!!! WTF?!!! Looks like I may have to sign up for the witness protection program one more time. Oh well.

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Came across some sites today that were pretty interesting. (O.K. interesting if you seriously don't have a life.) Nevertheless, I decided to share them with you. Perhaps this way your weekend might be peppered with completely useless conversations about nothing in particular. Enjoy!

The History of Chonies - understating the understated.

Designer Butt Wipe... (too many possible puns - go ahead, list one.)

I took this quiz today and these were the results. *NOTE:No bodily fluids were involved.

Very Well-Rounded

You have:
The graph on the right represents your place in Intuition 2-Space. As you can see, you scored above average on emotional intuition and above average on scientific intuition. (Weirdly, your emotional and scientific intuitions are equally strong.)

Your Emotional Intuition
score is a measure of how well you understand people, especially their
unspoken needs and sympathies. A high score score usually indicates
social grace and persuasiveness. A low score usually means you're good
at Quake.

Your Scientific Intuition
score tells you how in tune you are with the world around you; how well
you understand your physical and intellectual environment. People with
high scores here are apt to succeed in business and, of course, the

Try my other test!
The 3 Variable Funny Test
It rules.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 71% on Scientific
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 64% on Interpersonal
Link: The 2-Variable Intuition Test written by jason_bateman on OkCupid Free Online Dating

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Didn't think I was going to be able to post an HNT today... but the Celtic Gods smiled on me. So, here I am with a quick and dirty.

What is HNT? Just click the nifty button to find out!


Not one of my more creative ones but it does include a crazy soundtrack that will drive you insane and screaming into kingdom come.

Make sure your sound is turned on before you click.


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My schedule is looking pretty hectic... not sure if I'll be able to do HNT.

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Riffing off lelly's good girl/bad girl post I decided to post this. Setup for this one. It takes place in a bar. 4 singles are muddling through the "mating game" as it were. Pepper has just come off a long term relationship and is looking (somewhat reluctantly) for her groove again. At some point in the evening... the following occurs. (Note: the second half of this is done to a hot tango.)


(Trying out different poses.) Nonchalant? Coy? Sultry? This is silly. There was a time something like this wasn't a problem. I didn't have to deal with it.... so it wasn't a problem. (Now to the audience.) I could be myself... natural, you know? Now I'm not even sure who I am anymore. It didn’t always use to be this way. (A light airy piece of music plays under this.) There was a time...a time I was sure. Sure of who I was---Sure of what I wanted---Sure of where I was going. Seems like such a long time ago. There was a time with Mike and me... a time when I was so very sure.

We met in college...It's the same old story. You've probably heard it a thousand times before. We had the same friends---had some laughs and things just sort of developed. Funny how that happens, isn't it? You don't really think about it as its happening and one day you wake up and...its there---this thing. This very funny, strange, crazy and very real thing. And this person you feel you've known since the beginning of time. It wasn't like the movies at all. No boy meets girl, boy loses girl and somehow wins her back again. No drama like that with a neat little ending for us. It was more than that. It was much more. It was... seamless. This was real life. When we were together, it felt as if no matter what happened, things would be O.K.. And it would always be O.K. because we would always be together.

There were times I felt we were almost the same person. Or at least different facets of the same person. I don't know if that was good or bad. I only knew it was. It was a little scary but it also felt completely natural at the same time. I felt good around him. I felt important. I felt complete. I felt safe. Safe. What a wonderful feeling that was. That was important to me---feeling safe. Feeling and sure....sure and safe. Its funny.... safe had nothing to do with the other time. You see, there was another time... another time I thought I was sure. (The light airy piece comes to an abrupt halt.)

I was contemplating a graduate degree and considering going back for night classes. Mike was very supportive about the whole thing. So, supportive in fact that I decided...I would do it. What more could a gal want? (Pause.) Well on the first night of class... he walked in. (A Tango begins. Pepper and Eric take a Tango-snap-look at each other. Eric and Pepper begin to sway to the tango playing...but not touching as they sway) Look just because I was with Mike...didn't I mean I was dead. It didn't mean I couldn't be attracted to someone else. It didn’t mean I couldn’t spin silly fantasies like a giddy headed school girl. I mean... we all do that, don't we? That's why we buy romance novels, isn't it?

But this was different. There was something dangerous about him. Something unpredictable and it stirred something inside me---something I had forgotten was there.(They now connect and tango.)

This class was going to be a project based class where we would have to work together---in groups. I should have got out when I heard that... but I didn't. I thought I could handle it. The voice inside told me to get it for another semester.... and I ignored it. It was all very innocent at first---group discussions---the casual coffee after class. Harmless flirtations I hoped were just that---harmless flirtations. But I was wrong. As much as I tried to keep him at arms length a secret part of me wanted to let go. It kept building and building all semester long with an intensity that was putting my entire being into a spin that nearly drove me insane.

Then the night of the last class meeting came. There was going to be a party after the final. I did not want to go---but I did. I had made up my mind. Tonight was it. After tonight there would be no more class.... no more group discussions.. no more him. I would be safe again. Safe with Mike. Safe to be sure.

The party went well--- as well as could be expected. All evening there was a slow burn between us but I kept thinking that soon, it would be time to go. Home to Mike...home to where I was safe. And when it was time to go, we all shook nice civilized people. He decided to walk me to my car. He shouldn't have. I shouldn't have let him...but I did.

It was quiet all the way there. There was nothing to say. And as I was about to get into the car... ever so lightly on my shoulder. (Eric kisses her shoulder.) It happened. I wish he didn't and was glad he did. I didn't want him to continue yet I didn't want him to stop. I kept telling myself... This only happens in a romance novel or in the movies. Not in real life. But something broke inside me. Suddenly everything made sense and didn't all at the same time. This was exciting. This was different. This was no longer harmless. This was no longer civilized. This was no longer safe...and I loved every moment of it! And in that glorious instant I was sure. I was so damn sure! But it didn't make any sense because I was so sure before.(Tango stops.) And since then...I have never been quite sure again. (Pause. They seperate back to their own tables.)

There was a time I knew. A time when I was sure. But when you've been sure twice in a lifetime ... and they've been so different...(Looks over to Eric.)...can you ever be sure again?

excerpt from "Lunkheads On Parade" copyright 1993 Marcel Nunis

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This time we travel back to my scouting days that at the time was such a big part of my life. I joined the cub scouts when I was in Standard 2 (2nd grade) and it was the primary activity throughout my schooling years. These pictures come from my mid-teens in the early-mid 70's.

jungle camping Posted by Picasa
Once I hit Secondary (High) School I was a full on scout and the fun really began. At the time there were 2 scout groups working out of of my school... the 7th KL and the 8th KL. Somewhere between Form 2 & 3 (8th & 9th grade) the groups merged and we were officially known as the Eagle Scout Group. Our "scout masters" were from the upper grades so in a lot of ways caution was thrown to the wind. Liability? What was that?

me at camp Posted by Picasa
Now we either camped in the jungle or by the sea. Official camps usually involved packing our gear into the school bus. We were then driven to the edge of the jungle just outside the city and hiked in. Several of these places I had already known quite well. There were no "official campgrounds" so we basically set up close to a stream and pitched our tents. Camp tables and kitchens were usually constructed out of cut wild bamboo.

Essential camping gear per patrol (other than the heaviest army issue tents ever made) included dry clothes, rice, flour, some canned food, coffee, a live chicken or two, and sulfur. Let me explain the last two. Because of the lack of refrigiration the only way to eat fresh meat was to bring it live to camp. "Slaughter days" were always fun. Sulfur lined the shallow trenches around the tent to dissuade critters like snakes from crawling under the blankets in the dead of night. These days how we camped would be considered "survival camping". It usually took about half a day to set up camp... then we had to cook, etc.

kien at camp Posted by Picasa
There were also the "unofficial camps" that we undertook on our own. Kien (in the pic), several friends and I would often just take off on some camping destination on the odd weekend. The jungle was always closer than the sea (only a bus ride away)... so, there were a lot of jungle camp trips. It seemed we were camping in the jungle almost every weekend.

"There is something seductive about the lush steamy jungle. It has a primal hum...a vibration that connects to the very core of your being. A connection that makes you aware exactly how you fit into the scheme of things. A place where life and death seems to nourish each other."

That's a quote from a play of mine... and it's how I still feel about the jungle.

the eagle group Posted by Picasa

Some of my happiest days as a teen was not at school but camping and the scouts. Camping by the sea was a whole different kettle of fish... but fun nevertheless. On one particular camp outing at Port Dickson the troop built a bamboo raft. One night Kien and I snuck out with it. We didn't realize the tide was going out and the gentle current was taking us with it. Soon we were so far from the shore that our young frantic minds were convinced that we were half way in the Straits of Malacca and drifting to Sumatra. So, we took turns getting into the water and peddling/pushing... attempting to get the raft back. Shivering and scared we were finally pulled back to shore by a couple of older scouts in a canoe who came out looking for us. Sure, there are other adventures... but I'll save those for another post.

half-nikked in oslo Posted by Picasa

I was also lucky enough to represent Malaysia (5 of the contingent of 15 were from the mighty Eagle Scouts) at the World Jamboree in Lillehammer, Norway. Being 16 in Scandinavia... let me tell ya... that was living!

My impressions of that experience:
  • "It's 10 pm and the sun hasn't gone down?" "What's the sun doing up at 3 in the morning?"
  • "Man, these Nordic people are tall!"
  • "Boy, these Scandinavian girls are really friendly!"
  • "Beer warmers? What the hell are beer warmers?"
  • "What do you mean by a 24 hour hike past the timber line?"
  • "OK guys, this is how a Finnish Sauna works. You sit in this really hot room... then you run out and jump into the freezing lake... it's all snow melt! I swear I heard my body crack."
  • "Check that out! The Saudi and Israeli groups are camping right next to each other!"
  • "So, after 10 days here... we go to Sweden for 5?"
  • "Skol!"

field in lilllhammer at the opening ceremony Posted by Picasa

At 17 I finally achieved the rank of "King Scout". I wasn't going to but my mother insisted that I "finish what I started." Our batch were even invited to the palace to receive this honor from the King himself. My good friend Peter and I were now upper classmen and ran the group for a year. They were good days and we all even socialized even outside of scouting activities. The picture below is all of us at my place at Christmas.

xmas at home with the gang Posted by Picasa

So, that ends another edition of Picture Daze. Check out the sidebar for other editions.


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This pic has nothing to do with the post. Posted by Picasa

I moved here in 1980 from Malaysia. Pretty much spent half my life in each place. Thought I'd post some random observations... here are 7.

  • 1. I have met and know more people in America who have "done time" than I ever did in Malaysia.
  • 2. As a general rule Americans are attention hogs and are more up front about it than Malaysians will ever be.
  • 3. The submissive, demure, elegant, mysterious, Asian woman... is the biggest myth ever perpetuated on Western culture... and it is still going strong.
  • 4. In America religion is probably the number one commodity that is sold over every form of media known to man.
  • 5. Americans are always talking about their history... Malaysians hardly ever do.
  • 6. Americans eat to live... Malaysians live to eat.
  • 7. Per capita, probably the same amount of wild sex is happening in both places... Malaysians are just not about advertizing the fact everytime they get laid.

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UPDATE: Tish voted for my HNT post as her favorite this week! You are too kind dear. Also first runner-up from FatMike. Not too shabby, huh?

Once again, thank you all for visiting and for your wonderful comments. The trip to SF must have really creatively refreshed me more than I expected. Not sure if I can top this one... but I'll give it the ole shot though. This one took all of an hour and a half (including photo shoots and photoshopping, etc) from write to post. Some of you enquired about the tune that was used. Stanley Jordan playing "Freddie Freeloader" - a great Miles Davis piece. Come on back and visit soon... I should have a new Picture Daze post this weekend.

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I'll be attempting an "audience participation" HNT this week. (Warned you I'm a theatre person, didn't I?)

What is HNT? Click on the nifty button on the sidebar to find out.

To enjoy the full effect of this you need to:
1. Click the music on.
2. Read the post out loud in a detective noir style. Guys try your best Humphry Bogart, ladies... try your best sulty Kathleen Turner.

If it doesn't play "click here. A new window will open for the music.

It was one of those late Summer afternoons when the mating habits of flies on a crusty canine turd seemed like the only game worth laying bets on. The only thing on my pith encased mind was a HNT post that was due and I didn't have a doodle of an idea what slimy form this week would take.

I was sippin a vodka mango between puffs of a coffin nail when I eyeballed her slow, swaying bounce saunter up my driveway. She was built like a guitar waiting to be strummed by a one handed gypsy who worked nights in a piston factory. The curvy shadow at the door knocked twice and let herself in.
"I want in on this HNT thing." she purred from her smoky lips. The moment I heard that I knew this "demando doll" was more trouble with a capital T and looking for more.

"Not so fast, sweet cheeks. What makes you think I have any idea what you're talking about?" She sat down and the surly upturned curve from the corners her ruby pucker suckers told me she knew. She grabbed one of my Javanese shadow puppets and toyed with it like a blind rabbit playing a skunk in heat.

"I've seen your "thang" on Osbasso's list."

"My thang?"

"On Osbasso's list. I want in."

She of course was talking about that Maverick from Montana who ran the slickest skin sensation this side of Harry Connick's junior. She knew that I knew that she had me by the curly-q-fries in hot boiling lard but I still wasn't gonna roll over like a five dollar hooker with a ten dollar habit.

"O.K. suger thighs, what do you have to show for it?"

She whipped off her silky pink blouse like a Siamese schucking mangos on the Mekong.

"How about these?" she teased, working the smoke maker between her fingers like a busty latina rolling the tightest chimichanga in a 99 cent border cantina. "I want to see what you got to show, big boy... and I want it in color!"

I warned her, "It's long and it's dark."

"Go ahead. I like being scared." she mocked.

I took it off and let it down. I turned to look and her full rubies quivered like a bowl of jello in an old folks home. She thought I was some surburban palooka with a hankering for a champagne colored SUV but found an orangutan in 501's instead.

All she could say was, "What conditioner do you use?" It was over and she broke.

But her breaking broke me. This old boy scout was about to learn some new knots to tie and some new tents to pup.

When it was over we were done and the score was even. She walked away into the evening leaving this shmoe wanting for more. So, it goes. It's a crazy business but someones got to do it. As she faded off down the driveway I heard her say, "Happy HNT, hair man."

Special thanks to my friend Dragonfly for joining me this week.

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Couldn't blog the rest from SF as the damn "free WiFi" (that was incredibly slow) went down the last 2 days we were there. So, get ready for a long post (with lots of pictures)... which will include reviews to shows we caught up at the SF Fringe. Click here for Part 1.

Lets begin with reviews of the 2 shows I caught Friday night. The Ratings Key will be as follows: yeh, ok, not quite cooked, raw.
3 Plays About Your Mom by JUST THEATER (BERKELEY, CA). 3 local playwrights write 3 short plays with "MOM" as the theme. I thought that all in all it was a very competent production. Funny, poignant, quite pleasant actually. Rating: ok

Are Ya Working? by Steven Karwoski OTHER FISH TO FRY PRDUCTIONS, (SAN FRANCISCO, CA.) Stories (all true I presume) of growing up "working class" in Philly and the foibles of job roulette. Steven is quite engaging and manages to hook the audience on a fun ride through his adventures. Rating: yeh.
Saturday began with our usual routine of getting caffeinated at our usual joint at the Powell Street BART station. Love the mocha here. Our friend Laura was kind enough to provide us with her own personal "picks" for the Fringe that we looked over during our java sojourn. We then headed to the Exit Theater to start a day of fringing. Her first 2 picks were winners!

Fear of a Brown Planet by Nile Seguin THIRD MAN (TORONTO, CANADA). Now this was one funny ass show. Nile had us in stitches at a 1 PM show! Figure that one out! So good, we are hoping he will come to our very own Rogue Festival. Rating: yeh.
go! by Michelle Talgarow & Gillian Chadsey, THE TRAIN STATION, (NEW YORK, NY). A wonderful neo-absurdist piece that was performed with precision and theatrical flair. Funny, engaging and one muthafucker of a show. Rating: yeh.

Decided to head back to the hotel for a nap. Woke at 5 PM and headed out to NAAN n CURRY on Eddy Street for dinner. This included healthy helpings of Lamb Curry. Bryani, Veges, and Naans the size of elephant ears. The food was not compromised and retained its full heat factor. That was a mega bonus. Then headed back to fringe some more!

El Camino Loco by Kym Priess, WKYM RADIO (SAN FRANCISCO, CA) One crazy ass show. Think of it as a punk musical about a multiple personality street diva. Totally in your face but a little floaty. Rating: not quite cooked

Do The Clam by Jonathan James McCurley,THE POLECATS PLAYS,(TORONTO, CANADA) A valiant effort that didn't quite make it up the hill. One of those pieces that needs more precision and discipline. Rating: raw
At this point I headed back for an early night while SSM hung, fringed and drunk with friend and SF blogger Generik.

These are snippets I overheard from street folk on the 4 block walk back through the Tenderloin that night.

"Hey muthafucker... just give me a bag!"

"You want to do What with your dick?"

After the usual routine of java guzzling the next morning we headed out to fringe again

Green Bamboo Hermitage by The Visible Theater, (BERKELEY, CA) Probably the most elegant show I saw at the fringe this year. Elegant and intellegent in the writing, acting and production aspects. I really like this show a lot... subtle and touching. Rating: yeh

Took a short break to visit with my friend Jonathan who came in to the City from Oakland. It was great to catch up and chat at the Fringe Cafe. This "down" period was essential because we were going to catch 3 back to back shows from 4 PM on ... then the big closing party after. As you can see from the pic I was already begining to melt.
LOUNGE-ZILLA!: Asian Sings The Blues by Dennis T. Giacino & Fiely A. Matias THE OOPS GUYS COMEDY TROUPE, (ORLANDO, FL) This show has to be experienced to be believed! One of the funniest and outrages hours I spent at the fringe this weekend. Material and delivery are totally amazing! Rating: yeh

nEO-sURREALIST sYSTEMS presents! Matinee Experi-MENTAL, THE nEO-sURREALISTS (SOMEWHERE NEAR URANUS) I always try to catch the neos when I'm up at the Fringe. They are kinda like the "house band". Cheese, Booze (not a show to go in sober), Love... and lots of nakedness! Rating: yeh

Here is a pic of one of the Neos in the restroom after the show. SSM will be exploring more on this in an upcoming post.
The Werewolf by John Rackham ROGUES' YARN (FOLKESTONE, UK) Interesting story about a wolf bitten by a warewolf and changes into a man in the full moon. A fun show that I thought could have gone further. Rating: ok

The after party was held at Original Joe's. It was fun chatting with Generik and sharing stories at the bar. Awards were given out to a "feel good" vibe and we all headed out into the night better and a little drunker. New friends and contacts were made. I got to see lots of theatre and eat well. Got to slum in the city and evesdrop on crazy people talk in the street. What could be better than that?

Yeah, I scored 3D glasses... and of course my pith helmet. Now back to the grind... but creatively refreshed.

Click here for SSM's take on the weekend


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