After 9 and a half hours in front of the computer I decided that I needed to get out for a bit. So, I headed down to the local watering-hole to have a drink and to check out who was out and about this PM. Phone calls were made but none met with hope or response... which I fully expected.

I sat for for about 45 minutes just sipping my drink not really expecting anyone to show up... hey, it's a Tuesday night in the "hood" afterall! As I sat... lyrics of the Rain Song ran through my bleary mind. The line:

The line seemed particularly apt to where I find myself at the moment. The thing is I knew this would be the case for a while... that one's esteem was dependent on what one does and (perceived) status as opposed to who one is. This is why I have always been leery to exalted claims of ultimate friendship. Besides, lives are always evolving and in a state of flux and any expectation beyond the present is unrealistic. Everybody moves on to where life takes them. No fault. No accusations. No hard feelings.

A friend eventually walked in finally and we conversed... each of us delighting in each other's presence... which we hadn't been in a long while. The topic was being the confidant. I have been that. I have also been the friend, the lover, the spouse. the go-between. It struck me that I remained the confidant whenever I was the friend or the lover... or the combination of the two. In my observation, if somehow things progressed to me becoming the significant other or the spouse I was stripped of my ranking and function as confidant. It's almost as if the establishment of a "solid and stable" relationship made the other want to keep and/or hide secrets.

Curious.

UPDATE: 8:10 AM
If you happen to be in the area tomorrow... come to the show! It'll be quite the extravaganza... and as host... I'll be wearing my pith! That alone should be worth the price of admission. Click the poster for more details.