Da Blogs Da Thang: Bracing for the HEAT!

Bracing for the HEAT!

Published Monday, July 11, 2005 by lecram sinun | E-mail this post

Projections indicate that temperatures will hit a whopping 107 degrees Fahrenheit this Wednesday in the big "NO". So, I can be certain that the bitching quotient will rise with the temps. Actually, for the most part, this Summer has been pleasant. Usually by this time we would have had at least 3 weeks of triple digit temps.

So, here is a list of activities one can indulge in while the heat is raging.

1. Hopping movies (at least 3) at an air conditioned movieplex. (Slightly illegal but half the fun is getting away with it.)
2. If you don't feel like driving... watching movies in one's darkened and air-conditioned room with lots of cold drinks and cold fruit within easy reach. ( Bonus being that you could always hit "pause" for a short nap... plus you can eat and drink whatever you desire.)
3. If you want to save money on power bills... enticing a friend with the same plan, then going over to "share the experience". ( Depending on the friend... a short nap could have all sorts of possibilities.)
4. Hanging out in a cool dark bar, getting blotto, hitting on the fine waitress... suggesting "watching movies in one's darkened and air-conditioned room with lots of cold drinks and cold fruit within easy reach"... at her place on her day off, tomorrow. (Could save you money... could get you "some"... could get you a swift hard kick to the nuts... could get you "86 ed")
5. If the ploy works... score!
6. If the ploy with the waitress and friend didn't work... ice cubes down the pants... while watching... yada, yada,
7. Inventing the "ice cube pants" that one could wear in public from which you will make millions!
8. Formulating the funny "blue balls" advertizing campaign to sell the "ice cube pants" that will up your potential fortune to billions.
9. Contemplating actually getting out of bed to go to the computer to begin work on this brilliant idea and plan of execution that will set you up for the rest of your life.
10. Deciding it's too much work on an afternoon this hot... hitting the "pause" button, reaching out for some cold fruit and settling in for a nap in your darkened, air-conditioned room.

What's your list for a hot afternoon?

21 Responses to “Bracing for the HEAT!”

lecram sinun on July 11, 2005 12:35 PM

Blith, Temp would read 41.7 on your side of the pond.

Right now I'm thinking that the "cooler pants" may work better on your side of the pond - re: the no air-con situation.

Over here... the "freshness" of the waitress would depend on the bar.
airplanejayne on July 11, 2005 1:56 PM

I think Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt would make for a hot aftern--

oh...not that kind of hot?

nevermind.
Lelly on July 11, 2005 2:05 PM

Hey, thats ma daddy you're talking about, AJp (you have to 'go to the store' after you wrote that comment, hmmm??)

And Blith, you once said I has a cleavage you could drown a mouse in...so is that a good or a bad thing, eh, eh??!!
lecram sinun on July 11, 2005 3:36 PM

We are praying that the power grid stays open. It went down a few years ago when we hit 111 F (that's 43.8 for you) and it was not a happy time. Even the explanation that "its a dry heat" made us want to get violent with whomever said it.
Anonymous on July 11, 2005 3:52 PM

The hottest I've experienced is 44 C in Tokyo.

1. Ice cream - Phish Food (Ben & Jerry's), Magnums ( the different varieties), Mars ice cream, Snickers, et cetera
2. Black Cow
3. Fine Mist dispenser
4. No pants or clothes
5. Yup, the cinema
6. Yup, shopping for ice cream at a supermarket
7. Wet T shirt
8. Ok, ice cube pants
9. Personal blower
10. Ahem
lecram sinun on July 11, 2005 3:55 PM

personal blower??? Oh, for "nap"...
Anonymous on July 11, 2005 3:56 PM

oh ok, maybe not the cinema
Anonymous on July 11, 2005 3:59 PM

yeah, you know, does wonders for the heat.
ScarySquirrelMan on July 11, 2005 6:08 PM

1. on a lounge chair under a sprinkler
2. on a beach towel under a sprinkler
3. mad dash to millerton lake
4. madder dash to shaver lake
5. getting turned down by an ice maiden (though the freeze only lasts until the humiliation sets in)
6. a cold shower after a very, very hot day at work
7. barbecuing at lecram's while airplane jayne has a waterhose fight with jade ed...actually that's getting me hot, so forget that one
8. cuba libres
9. a cellar-temperature guinness
10. blogging naked...like right now
airplanejayne on July 11, 2005 7:17 PM

1)Memo to blith: forget lack of air conditioning, ice cubelet pants and old barmaid. Move to Fresno.
2)Memo to Lecram: ice pants - kinda like those cargo pants from a few years back. Don't care how FUNCTIONAL they are, they are still UNATTRACTIVE. and "unattractive" means that you all will continue receiving #5 on SSM/Joel's list.
3)Memo to kien: don't understand any other kind of blower EXCEPT a personal one. any clarification? or have you left for the store...again?
4) Memo to SSM: okay, so if you're doing #10 now, hurry and run outside and do #1....now, imagine #7, snap open eyes, run in house and finish with a rousing #6!

okay, I've got to get back to my hot afternoon cure(s).
lecram sinun on July 11, 2005 7:52 PM

APJ, does this afternoon "cure" involve ice cold sanka?

And it's not ice cubelet... it's CUBE... we have enough problems. we really don't need the ice having esteem issues.
jade ed girl on July 11, 2005 8:39 PM

Ok- so how does trying to sleep, but can't because of coughing, fever that nearly matches expected high for today and a dog that doesn't understand "quit touching meeeeeee!!!!" sound?

Yup- I'm miserable... can't even think of a witty response to "personal blower." Give me a day or two...
airplanejayne on July 11, 2005 10:30 PM

Jade - so sorry you're sick. tell dog you will flea dip her (show her box) if she doesn't quit touching you.
Okay Lecram, Cubelets will no be referred to as cubes. Suppose since NOTHING related to "that" comes in size small.....

and yes, ice cold sanka is cure-all after Depp and Pitt...I'm sure if you asked Jade, even in her fevered state, she would back me up on this.
Lelly on July 12, 2005 3:21 AM

Bah! Wrote a great long comment then lost it by pressing the wrong bleedin' button! Must be suffering from the heat!

Hope you feel better soon, Jade.
Anonymous on July 12, 2005 3:16 PM

Well, there are professional blowers.
airplanejayne on July 12, 2005 7:39 PM

dirrty, dirtty, diirrtty boy....
Mustang on July 12, 2005 9:16 PM

Popsicle enemas
airplanejayne on July 12, 2005 10:02 PM

but mustang --
wouldn't that make you
dump a grumpy?
jade ed girl on July 14, 2005 5:25 PM

My God- have you all had fevers?!!
I woke up singing Depeche Mode's ...your own..Personal... no not Jesus, but BLOWER, thank you very much.
airplanejayne on July 14, 2005 6:49 PM

and then we move on over to INXS:

"....a new sen - sa - tion!"
jade ed girl on July 16, 2005 6:10 PM

Actually saw INXS once- the guy standing next to me went to the store...well not actually the store...it was more of a "fund transfer" I guess. It was pretty bizarre.