Da Blogs Da Thang: Conversations with myself over the guy at the Laundromat

Conversations with myself over the guy at the Laundromat

Published Monday, January 02, 2006 by lecram sinun | E-mail this post

Second post for the day... just cuz blogging may be infrequent in the weeks to come.

I had to go down to the Laundromat today to get some bedding and heavy items laundered. After loading the machine I walk down to the local coffee-shop to get myself a cup of steaming java. I get back with a copy of today's newspaper, dump the load into the dryer and settle down to read just how wet the city has become over the last 24 hours.

He walks in with 2 garbage-bags full. The following profiling conversation occurs deep in my noodle.

"Newly single."

"No way."

"Way. Check it out... 30 something, disheveled hair, five o'clock shadow from a couple of days ago, dress pants... who comes to do laundry in dress pants?"

"Perhaps he had a really good New Years?"

"Look outside. SUV... Mercedes to boot, personalized plates... dude, the guy smacks of a north-ender. Those people own their own washer dryers tucked away in their pretty custom homes. Besides, he brought his laundry in garbarge bags."

"O.K., O.K., look like you're reading but sneak a peek at this... he's looking at the 30lb washer like it's the console from the starship Enterprise."

"Look at that stupor. Notice the slump in the shoulders?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah... Damn, he's been standing there staring at that machine for the last 2 minutes. (pause) Phew, OK... good. He finally found the button to pop the door open."

"He's never done this before... I can't believe he's trying to load the entire contents of those bags into one machine!"

"Yeah, she was the one who did the laundry at home. (pause) Uhuh... "

"What?"

"He just pulled out a dress shoe from the machine."

"Whoa! Must have been a quick exit. Cheater?"

"I don't think so. Probably a nice guy who never saw it coming."

"Between Christmas and New Years?"

"Yup. Can be quite the deadly season."

"Yup. Poor guy. Check out the back of the SUV... suitcases. "

"Ouch! Probably been sleeping on a buddy's couch here in the district for the last 2 nights."

"And wracking his brain on how to win her back. He's trying to convince himself that this is a temporary phase."

"It won't work."

"I know. Once a woman's mind is made up... very little is gonna change it. Chances are, she made up her mind months ago... but only just broke it to him."

"He never saw it coming. Look, he's still befuddled."

"Yeah he's still trying to figure out her :: It's not you... it's me :: line."

"Probably a one-two punch that was coupled with the :: I don't know who I am anymore... I need space to find myself :: line."

"That's classic 30-something. What's really throwing him off is probably the :: You're the last person I wanted to hurt :: line."

"Why do they say that?"

"It's an attempt to be kind, I guess. She doesn't hate him... just doesn't want to be with him anymore"

"So, why did he leave?"

"To be big... to be kind."

"Probably thinks that it's gonna score him points. Sad. (pause) Sancho in the woodpile?"

"Maybe... Possible... nothing malicious though... more of a distraction than anything of substance."

"A desperate attempt to reassert ... her womanhood..."

"More the need to feel attractive, I think... to feel vital again."

" And the poor son of a gun was oblivious to that need. Hey, our load is dry."

"Let's bug out of here."

"Yeah... Whoopsie, he's got no change. And you're right... newly single."

" What?"

"Ring dent still on the finger. Saw it when he put the twenty dollar bill into the change machine."

"What a way to start out the New Year, huh?

"Poor bastard."

19 Responses to “Conversations with myself over the guy at the Laundromat”

Mustang on January 02, 2006 10:04 PM

First..Happy New Year..sorry we didn't find each other to toast incessently.

Second.rain.

Third. This conversation strikes me as the basis for a very interesting play...

M
Zonthar on January 03, 2006 12:51 AM

"Blogging may be infrequent in the weeks to come":

Lecram-ese for "Look out, you poor bastards, I'll be blogging your faces off!!"

Don't forget that the last time he was too busy to blog, we got the most elaborate HNTs ever..... :)
KFarmer on January 03, 2006 6:11 AM

sometimes LS I think you can see inside people and pull their thoughts out-

story = very interesting :)
lime on January 03, 2006 7:36 AM

ouch, very astute observations it would seem. i agree, make it a play, hehehe
The Funky Bee on January 03, 2006 9:42 AM

poor bastard...but you're right, you can see them coming a mile away. Eh, who cares, he'll probably be better off without her anyway! Situations like that are ALWAYS a good thing...
airplanejayne on January 03, 2006 11:23 AM

of course, I would look at it differently (totally):
Scenario 1: Rich controlling Mercedes driving Republican made his wife drive a 1972 Town & Country Stationwagon. She caught him cheating with the yardboy.....

Scenario 2: He yelled at her to throw out the trash once too often...

hmmmmm.....
:)
APj
lecram sinun on January 03, 2006 12:06 PM

Mustang = Happy New Year, man! a play? hmmmm...

whackman - "GOOOOOAAAAALLLLL!"

zonthar - part of the reason for infrequent blogging will be you helping me with "lies..."

KFarmer - good to here. :)

lime - (see response to mustang.) :)

The Funky Bee - I think so too!

ravenstears - I just linked to you. :)

apj - of course you would... which is why we are all individuals. It would be boring if we all saw things the same. BTW ever read that book about letting go?
Barbara on January 03, 2006 1:01 PM

You need to write screen plays...perhaps turn this into a short film with flashback segments...could be wonderful.I enjoyed reading it...
lecram sinun on January 03, 2006 1:58 PM

trojan - a short fim...hmmm... possibilities.

roximoon - it's a quirk growing up the only child.
Trashed on January 03, 2006 3:10 PM

Except for the laundramat scenario, the cliches are way too close to home, though that real episode was way back in time !!!

Might see you in Fresburg for the Rogue Festival (plug, plug) in March. I believe that sun boi is trying to head over the big pond as well.
Wenchy on January 03, 2006 3:37 PM

It is 1h37am South African time and I have just sat here reading this entire conversation to Furzl making different voices for each line..... LOL

Poor bastard.
airplanejayne on January 03, 2006 3:49 PM

I did let go! I threw the trash out! I'm the happy girl --

--who just happened to have a TREE FALL ON HER CAR!!!

I'm the diva, gotta luv me...
:)
APj
lecram sinun on January 03, 2006 3:53 PM

RoxiMoon - hmmm... :)

Trashed - haven't seen you in here in a while! :) yeah, cliches become such when they happen too often to count. Cool on the Rogue thing... I may be doing a one-man show in it too!

Wenchy - lol! early morning theatre is best served only to someone you love. :)
Barbara on January 03, 2006 4:13 PM

If you need an actress.....:)
Mellissa on January 03, 2006 4:20 PM

Ooohh, if he was cute you should have given him my blog address :-) I am newly single myself...ha ha.

Happy New Year sweet friend!!

Ladybug
lecram sinun on January 03, 2006 5:42 PM

Trojan - do you do plays as well? ;)

mellissa - long time no see!! The guy look pretty beat up and I think he's probably gonna attempt the futility of holding on to nothing for a while. I think you may want someone healthier... emotionally, at least.
Deadly Female on January 04, 2006 4:43 AM

wow...
jjd on January 04, 2006 11:32 AM

hee hee, throughly enjoyable!
Barbara on January 04, 2006 8:16 PM

Lecram...Yeppers. Sing,act,paint,dance,draw,model....anything but math.