Da Blogs Da Thang: Post-HNT, Votes and an Asshole Tag!

Post-HNT, Votes and an Asshole Tag!

Published Thursday, December 01, 2005 by lecram sinun | E-mail this post

NEWS UPDATE: There have been SSM sightings in the state of Washington. Go by and read his harrowing adventure "Stuck with a dry Pussy in a snow storm and Scared Shitless" and wish him well.

Thank You for swinging by and commenting on my HNT post. Your kind words helped lift my week out of the mundane.

The votes are in! 65 percent of you voted "Fuck No" so, I will keep it natural even if my upper lip will look snotty for a while. 62 out of 80 of you (as of this writing) voted. Now if that percentage was transferred to something like say... the national elections - we would have more of a representative government.

What really excites me as I get older is that I just may inherit my Dad's genes and get grey on my sides like Doctor Strange. That would just be too cool!

I was tagged by Tish with the following meme.

Project Description: (written by Vincent)
"I am quite a big asshole, eh? This project is called 'The Assholometer Bounty' simply because it is interesting find out, now that you guys know of my evilness, how much you would pay to get rid of me? How much would you be willing to fork out to rid the world of someone like me? Pillage my commenting box with any figure and I will total up the assholometer bounty as we go along.Let's face it. As much as people like to claim that they are nice people, everybody is an asshole deep down inside. In fact, not enough people are proud of the evil things they did. With the exception of a couple of guys, I don't think enough people blog about their 'assholic' tendencies. Wouldn't it be a joy to read of more people being evil?

1) All you guys have to do is blog about your most 'assholic' deed (or a few, if you wish) in order to get your readers to raise your bounty. The higher your bounty, the better. 2) Copy out these last few paragraphs including the project description. 3) In keeping with being an 'asshole', you are free to spread this meme along to as many people as you wish (the more the merrier since everybody hates memes)."- vincent

So, here goes my...
An Asshole Story Of The First Kind
Some of you are aware that I am somewhat "physically challenged." I was struck with polio at an early age and have lived with Jimmy all my life. If you are too lazy to click that link (asshole) Jimmy is my left arm. What makes this all the more insidious is that my disability is actually not that noticeable.

Truth be told, handicaps (yes, handicaps) can be some of the biggest assholes you will ever meet. They will often focus their anger and frustration of being physically inconvenienced by making able bodied folks feel guilty for their malady... and those poor fools fall for it!!! I know... I did it for years.

Asshole Incident #1: I have been going to pubs back home since I was 14. ( I think the age limit back then was... none.) Anyway, I was 16 when this incident happened. I walk into the pub at 4 PM one day and sit at the bar. A good friend of mine is bartending. The owner (we shall call him Paul) pulls up a seat to my left. We get into a conversation about nothing in particular. (Bit of background: Whenever I came into his pub, Paul ALWAYS sat to my right... this was the first time he EVER sat to my left.) The regulars are beginning to stream into the pub after the daily grind. Soon every seat at the bar is filled. My left arm Jimmy is now resting on the bar. Just before he leaves, Paul pats me on the back and says...

PAUL: Hey, it was good talking to you... I haven't seen you in a while.

ME: Yeah... I've been busy.

PAUL: (looking at the arm.) Man, you've lost a lot of weight... you used to be bigger before.

ME: (a beat... then raising my good right arm into his line of vision) Yeah, I use to be this big... (pointing to Jimmy on the bar) ... now I'm this skinny. I don't know what happened.

Paul (who is Chinese) turns every shade of red apologising as the rest of the regulars fall off their bar stools laughing. For the rest of the night all my drinks are "on the house." For the rest of the month I never had to pay for a drink in that pub. I knew exactly what I was doing and struck when there was an opening. It was subtle, creative... but an asshole thing to do nevertheless.

Asshole Incident #2: One would assume that handicap folk would be of help to each other - WRONG! I once stood across the street watching a blind man with a white cane navigate his way up a sidewalk. Nothing unusual about that... except that I could see he was heading toward a thorny bush that was hanging over a fence right into the sidewalk. I just stood and watched until he got tangled up... then walked away.

Postscript: I gave up using my handicap for asshole purposes in my early 20's. So, now you know some of my evil past.

I'm hoping my asshole days are well behind me so I'm not tagging anyone. If you want to play... have at it!

16 Responses to “Post-HNT, Votes and an Asshole Tag!”

Tish on December 01, 2005 8:17 PM

*LMAO* I can't believe you let that blind man get tangled up in that bush. hehehe. You big asshole, you! ;) Btw, thanks for doing the tag. I really enjoyed reading it. Have a great night!
lecram sinun on December 01, 2005 8:19 PM

Tish - only for you, darling. :)
airplanejayne on December 01, 2005 8:59 PM

hmmm....seems that bush may be related to the tree you attacked outside of 'Stones.....

that -- or the blind guy paid the tree off!!!

you are soooooo bad....

APj
:)
Sasha on December 02, 2005 1:50 AM

i'm sorry but i'm laughing hysterically at the old man... heehee! sorry... i probably have a devil underneath all this skin... or yeah, a 1st class asshole. heehee.

thank you again for the wonderful gift lecram! i am honored!
Lelly on December 02, 2005 4:14 AM

Oh Cuz...what a bad boy you were..and what a bad girl I am for laughing so much!
P.S. How come you post a pic of your grungy ol' beard for HNT and get 81 hits, and I only get 33 for my, admittedly heavily Picasa'd, but nevertheless totally nekkid back?? :-)
KFarmer on December 02, 2005 7:10 AM

Its nice to know I am not the only one around who gets an evil chuckle every now and again! LOL!

I have already written about my devious deeds.. well not all of them but we will just save some for later!
KFarmer on December 02, 2005 7:12 AM

PS- if I knew my mother did not read my blog, I would write about the time called "of moonshine and mouses" hehehe... (one of my favorite acts of pure out evil!)
lecram sinun on December 02, 2005 8:34 AM

sasha - you are welcome.

lelly - "you post a pic of your grungy ol' beard"... I'm guessing that this is as close to crappy I'm going to get. Cool. BTW I too thought your pic should have garnered more hits.

kfarmer - can't have the "yin" without the "yang", I guess! LOL!

And ALL of you are sick and wrong for laughing at that story! ROFLMAO!
KFarmer on December 03, 2005 9:31 AM

would you have us any other way? :)
Jada on December 03, 2005 11:55 AM

Does it make me a HUGE asshole for thinking that your asshole stories aren't that bad?

From what I've been able to garner from you from your posts and always kind comments on my blog, I think you are awesome.
lecram sinun on December 04, 2005 10:42 AM

the_mrs - I do hang my head in shame... though I still may snigger as I do... theatre of cruelty and all that.

kfarmer - wouldn't have it any other way. lol!

the jade - NO (to question 1) Thank you... it's kind of you to say. ::blush::
Anonymous on March 15, 2013 4:22 PM

Thanks ѵery intегesting blog!

Feel frеe to visit my blog instant cash loans
Anonymous on March 27, 2013 3:08 PM

Do yοu hаve any video оf that? I'd like to find out some additional information.

my weblog: payday loans
Anonymous on May 14, 2013 12:25 AM

hey theгe and thank you fοг youг info – Ι hаve ԁefіnitelу pіcκed up ѕоmething new
from гight herе. I did howeνer
exрertiѕe a few teсhnіcal issuеs using
thіs ωеb sіte, since I expегiencеd to гeload the wеb ѕite many tіmеs рrevіοus tο I could
get іt to loаd ρroperly.
I hаd been ωondering if yοuг wеb host
is OK? Νot that I am complаinіng, but sluggіsh lοadіng instancеs times will somеtіmes affeсt youг plaсemеnt in
googlе and can damagе youг qualitу
sсore if advertising and marketіng with Aԁwоrds.
Well I аm аddіng thіs RSS tο my emaіl and cоuld look out for muсh morе of yоuг гespective intгіguіng content.

Make ѕuге уοu uρdate this agaіn sοon.

Stοp by mу webpagе: Same Day Payday Loans
Anonymous on May 15, 2013 9:42 PM

Very good post. I am going through some of these issues as ωell.
.

mу web site: Instant Payday Loans
Anonymous on May 25, 2013 10:38 PM

Heya i'm for the primary time here. I came across this board and I in finding It truly useful & it helped me out much. I hope to present something again and aid others like you helped me.

Also visit my web blog ... payday loans