Thought I'd do something a little different this time around. In my past HNT posts you have been introduced to Jimmy, Audrey, Stan and my left eye (great suggestions for names from many of you, but I haven't decided quite yet.) I have written (some rather long winded) stories that many of you have expressed enjoyment reading. Thank You. And for the most part the posts have been somewhat civilized. (Nothing wrong with that... I rather like being civilized.) I'm also posting early as I'm mired in 2 gigs for the next few weeks

This time however, I thought I'd allow my theatrical side dictate... since I am a theatre person. I decided not to post a story for this edition. I instead decided to post something simple, subtle and understated... but theatrical nevertheless. To enjoy the full effect of this... MAKE SURE THE SOUND ON YOUR COMPUTER IS TURNED ON before you click the link to my HNT contribution for this week.


Enjoy. And for more HNT go to the Mighty Osbasso's Site. He's the guy who started it all and you can find links to other HNT crazies there! BTW today is also Malaysia's Independence Day!

2 teachers out today and chaos reigns supreme. I am contantly amazed how upper management still doesn't get a clue about their actions or lack there of affecting this place. Oh well.

HNT
I'll be posting mine tonight as I'm currently schelpping 2 gigs at once. You'll want to catch this one. (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more...)

If you are in vicinity, there will be a meat burning this Sunday, September 4 at 4 PM at my place. It's a BYO thang. We'll supply coals and coolers! Should be fun and .... there's no work on Monday!

Been getting requests as to where I am in those black & white pics I posted on Saturday. I'll even list where Kien, Vert and Jonathan are in those pics.

Starting from top to bottom:

1. Thats me before I was potty trained and grew a beard.

2. Class photo - Standard 2 at St. John's Primary. I am the one far left in the second row from the bottom (lucky bastards who were seated.) Jonathan is the one third to the right of me. (the pissed off looking one.)

3. Class photo - Form 2 at St. John's Institution. I am far left in the top row. Vert is fourth from the far left. Kien is seated (lucky bastard) far left of the bottom row.

4. Picture of KISMANTAB formation. From left to right.... lecram (MAN). kien (TAB), vert (KIS).

5. Pic that looks like Kien buggering Vert in broad daylight. You guess who is who.

Oh lelly, RL (Ludd Boi) is 2 years my junior and is not in any of these pics. He may turn up in another edition.

Dang! I posted a lot this month! Perhaps I'm beginning to find my stride again. Well, the rev is going to be turned up one way or the other.

Went through a bunch of photographs tonight. Most I haven't seen in years. Thought I'd scan some and post them just to scare the beejeebers out of those of you visiting this blog. It may just end up becoming a weekly feature... only because I'm a sadist.

Yup, this is yours truly as a baby. I think I was about 4 months old (pre-polio), but already planning to conquer the world. This is evidenced by the intense stare that could hypnotize millions.

I think I had the average cute quotient as a baby. I'd like to think I'm a lot cuter now... but I keep that under wraps just to avoid being tar and feathered.

Ahhh... the class photograph from Primary School (elementary). I was in Standard 2 (thats 2nd grade for you Americans) at St. John's Primary School. Just try to find me. My friend Jonathan Muhuideen (who now lives in Oakland) is also in this pic looking pretty damn pissed off. When I met him in June this year, I was assured by Jonathan, as he wielded a sharp cutting instrument, that he's over it.
Then there was the big move across the street to St. John's Institution. This was the class photograph in Form 2 ( 8th grade for you Americans.)

Notice if you will, the absence of a teacher. I think we killed him the week before. Just ask Kien & Vert who are also in the pic with me. (Try to find us in this one.) No one copped to it as we all pointed the finger at Jonathan who was still pissed off from Primary school.

This picture caught the formation of KISMANTAB - the greatest rock group that never was. Did tons of recording but their albums are so rare that rock luminaries such as Jimmy Page and Robert Fripp are not looking for them. Rumor is their cover art made Roger Dean cream in his pants- but this is only a rumor... and a bad one at that. Among their critically acclaimed songs - "Close The Door Behind You" and the oh so forgettable "Kueh Kohchi, Kopi Oh, Papadam," a heart stopping ballad that swept the ocean.

MAN, TAB & KIS slyly used a school excursion to Pulau Ketam (Crab Island) in order to scout out venues for their world tour. They shunned the big stadium venues and preferred bringing their music where the "real" people were ... and where they could get good crab for cheap.

This Mega Tour was going to be the first of it's kind. The lineup included the top acts of the day such as Yes, Santana, Led Zeppelin and The Partridge Family. (TAB really wanted to score with Laurie - MAN was hot for Shirley - KIS was in love with his own Fender bass)
Unfortunately music fans were deprived of this once in a lifetime experience as the other groups had never even heard about the Mega Tour or KISMANTAB. That was their loss... and a loss to the world.

The boys would have walked into the sunset... but it was 10 in the morning. They decided instead to pool their money together and drowned their sorrows in a hefty feed of Rava Ghee Dosai and Kopi Peng.

They eventually went their separate ways only to be reunited 30 years later via the Internet. "What about the Mega Tour?" you may ask. Let me put it this way - could the Beatles ever reunite? Enough said.

FOR WHO IS WO IN THE PICS... CLICK HERE.

If this wasn't scary enough... click on the pics for bigger versions.

Labels: Picture Daze

" I contend that God is so simple and the basic human need to complicate everything hampers and blinds us from accepting that divine elegance. "

" What can you get me? Ten grand and a ticket to Rio would be nice... but I'll settle for a scotch on the rocks for now "

" Fuck you and thank me for it."

(Not sure how to use the word "Fuck?" Click here for a short audio lesson.)

For other statements I've made click here.

UPDATE: 3:49

And for a small distraction on this Saturday afternoon... here is Monty Python's Penis Song. Just click to hear.

Idealistic, sensitive and emotional you appreciate beauty and need to have a harmonious environment. You are a dependable and conscientious worker and attract material rewards without too much effort. However your altruistic nature is one of giving and service to others with a desire to make the world a better place and you work towards this end. Your affectionate, sincere and understanding manner means that you are much loved.

and that's what it said. Find the meaning of own name by clicking here.

Posting this HNT contribution early, as I have three and a half weeks more of gainful employment left and I want to leave on my own terms - instead of getting fired for going in late. My last 3 posts included pics and stories of Jimmy, Audrey and Stan. Don't have a name for my bloodshot left eye... maybe you can help me name it.

Right now, most of you are jumping to the obvious conclusions as to why my eyes are bloodshot. My eyes have been bloodshot since I was 10 years old. This was the result of swimming. Swimming in chlorinated pools. Swimming in the sea. Swimming in jungle streams.

In fact, many a birthday as a boy in Malaysia was spent swimming in jungle streams. Most kids had birthday parties - I had birthday picnics in the jungle with my friends. My parents would pack up us kids (friends and cousins) into a couple of cars and drive out into the jungle outside the city.

Getting there was half the fun. A hard left off the main highway, there would be a dirt road that veered into the jungle for about half a mile. When the dirt road ended, we tumbled out of the car and hiked in several hundred yards heading toward the sound of a jungle stream. Monkeys would be jibber-jabbering in the trees as we hurried down the jungle path. The closer we got, the louder the sound of the stream... the less jibbering of monkeys.

Finally, the thick jungle around us would magically seem to open up on our intended destination. A picnic spot would be picked on the banks. Mats spread and us kids excitedly jumped into the cold clear waters to frolic. My father would always caution us with the same instructions. "If you need to kenching (pee) go downstream... don't do it in the jungle." If one of my not-yet-hip-to-the-jungle friends would quizz "Why not the jungle?", my father would launch into a gentle lecture about "respecting the spirits." This would instantly ignite a barrage of "What spirits? Why?" among the kids. His eyes would twinkle and with a sly smile he would say, "I'll tell you after lunch." He always kept his word.

Food was usually of the street variety. Nasi Lemak, coconut rice topped with cucumber, eggs and a good hot sambal, served on a banana leaf. Drinks - iced home-made lime juice. Papaya with a squeeze of lime for dessert.

After lunch and tired after swimming, we would lay on the mats under the shade. My father would then tell us about how each living thing had a spirit living in it. That if you did not respect the trees and the rocks and the jungle you were being disrespectful to the spirits... and you would have to pay. This was usually his cue to dive into a couple of jungle "ghost stories" that would scare us even on a sunny afternoon.

These excursions would usually begin at about 9 in the morning and we would leave the jungle by 3 in the afternoon. The cars driving back usually packed with sleepy tired children. I onced asked my mother what inspired them to organize these birthday picnics. "Economics.", she would say quite simply. "None of those birthday picnics cost your father and me more than 50 ringgit."

And the bloodshot eyes? Our family doctor informed me years later that it was a part of a protective coating developed naturally to protect my eyes from the different waters I swam in as a kid. The salt of the sea, the chlorine of the swimming pools and the minerals plus some animal pee in the jungle streams. Someone should have told them where to kenching.

For more half-nekkid thursday visit the great Emperor Osbasso's site.

Forgive me, I have decided to try the "word verification" function for posting comments. Too many spams are turning up on the comment feature. Hope this does not inconvenience you too much.

WOO: I see you haven't lost your touch Miss Marlin.

MAXIE: Sydney, Sydney Woo... and Frankie!

FRANKIE: Wrong time no see, Miss Marrin!

MAXIE: I see you're still struggling with that awful R and L substitution, Frankie.

SYDNEY’S BASS LINE

MAXIE: (DOWN) It was that Chinese lizard Sydney Woo Fei Loh and his trusty gecko Frankie Kwai Chee Chak--- both formally of San Francisco's slimy underworld. Sydney was a known white slave trader who was deported a few years back---for smuggling live monkeys into the country. (UP) Sydney, I thought you were exiled to Macao.

WOO: No thanks to you. But enough about me...what brings you to the island of Singapore?

MAXIE: My passport is not forged has my actual name on it. Do the authorities know you're here?

WOO: Singapore is a free port Miss Marlin. Businessmen from all over the world are welcomed here.

FRANKIE: Yes, Miss Marrin...this week we have big businessmen flom arr ove South East Asia...

WOO: Shuttup Frankie!

FRANKIE: Solly, Boss.

MAXIE: So, Sydney, still trading in Monkeys or have you run out of relatives to sell?

WOO: Very witty Miss Marlin...Very witty, indeed. But you are no longer in America so, I would be careful with my wit if I were you.

FRANKIE: Yes, Miss Marrin...Vely Cearfur indeed.

WOO: Mysterious things have a tendency of occurring in the Orient. Unexplained disappearances leaving more questions than answers.

MAXIE: Did I just hear a threat?

WOO: A threat? I was merely suggesting the return of a favor.

MAXIE: What favor?

WOO: A favor you owe me. After all you were instrumental in my apprehension and subsequent deportation from the land of the free.

MAXIE: Half the police force in the city of San Francisco was instrumental in your deportation Sydney... including my father. Do they all owe you favors?

WOO: I collect when the opportunities avail themselves.

FRANKIE: Rike now!

WOO: Your testimony was very damaging and we do so miss San Fransisco...

FRANKIE: (singing) "I reft my heart in San Flansisco...."

WOO: Shuttup Frankie....Sorry Miss Marlin… it's too much damn kereoke!

MAXIE: I'm touched... but you brought that on yourself, Sydney.

WOO: I beg to differ...

MAXIE: Beg all you want. It doesn't change a thing. I owe you nothing.

WOO: I'm disappointed. The daughter of the reputable Captain John Marlin refuses to honor a favor. It would break his heart to know this...as much as it broke his heart when you left the force for... private practice.

FRANKIE: Shame, shame, shame, Miss Marrin.

WOO: I have always been curious about the circumstances surrounding your untimely … retirement from the San Francisco Police Department.

FRANKIE: Were you a naughty gir, Miss Marrin? Your daddy no rike what you do?

MAXIE: Keep my father out of this!

WOO: But you were the one who brought him up. Despite our differences I respected your father. In fact, it was a favor I owed him that kept you alive to honor the favor you owe me today.

MAXIE: Nice try Sydney. The way I remember it, you blew your chance when your gun ran out of bullets.

WOO: The truth has many sides to it.

MAXIE: I like my side. Yours has too many holes.

WOO: Come now Miss Marlin, we go back a long way. Perhaps you could consider this favor...as a gift. Where is your Christmas spirit?

FRANKIE: (singing) "Deck the harrs wit boughs of horry...."

WOO: Oh, Shuttup! Besides, you’re Buddhist!

MAXIE: Christmas spirit? I’ve checked Santa's list and you've been very naughty. Sorry boys, no gift.

FRANKIE: Oh, too bad!

WOO: Frankie!

MAXIE: But, out of curiosity... just how would you suggest I pay back this so called favor?

WOO: You are a beautiful white American woman, Miss Marlin---a valuable commodity in this part of the world. In the spirit of the season...I was only suggesting you spread a little ...goodwill among some gentlemen I know.

MAXIE: Are these the same kind of gentlemen who would spoon the brains out of a live monkey's skull?

WOO: With a splash of brandy, it’s quite a delicacy.

MAXIE: Once a flesh monger...always a flesh monger, huh? I'm flattered Sydney, but you may have forgotten---I wasn't for sale then, and I'm not for sale now.

WOO: You may have forgotten, Miss Marlin---the commodity in this case never determines the buying or the selling.

FRANKIE: And you may have folgotten---there's two of us and onry one of you!

WOO: Good point, Frankie.

FRANKIE: Thank you, Boss.

WOO: So, lets not make a fuss and come quietly with us.

MAXIE: I would Sydney, but you may have forgotten one little detail---I know your little secret.

WOO: W...Whatever are you talking about Miss Marlin?

MAXIE: You know.. that little problem you have.

FRANKIE: Boss, I think she is talking about...

WOO: Shuttup Frankie! Problem? Problem...Miss Marlin? (Beginning to breathe hard.) It’s not a problem---It’s a condition!

MAXIE: You wouldn't want me to aggravate this... condition, would you?

WOO: (Breathing Hard.) You wouldn't Miss Marlin! Not here!

SYDNEY’S BASS LINE

MAXIE: (DOWN) Now old Sydney had a curious...condition. For some strange reason he had an allergic reaction to women's underwear. Even the mere mention of an unmentionable would send him into a violent fit. Must be tough to be put down by something that should have given you a rise in the first place. (UP) Oh look, Sydney....a button just came undone off my blouse.

WOO: NO! NO! NOT THAT! (Beginning to wheeze)

FRANKIE: Crose youl eyes Boss! Miss Marrin! Have you no decency? In bload dayright---in the stleet?

MAXIE: A girl's got to do what a girls got to do. Besides he started it.

FRANKIE: But Miss Marrin....

MAXIE: Sydney, shall I tell you what I'm wearing under this blouse?

WOO: No! Please, NO! (Frantic Wheezing.) Don’t tell me anything!

MAXIE: Are you sure, Sydney? You know, when I got out of the shower this morning, I thought to myself… I want to feel comfortable and sexy for my tour of Singapore. What could I wear that would feel just… mmm… up against my bare skin. Then it came to me… why don’t I just slip into that little…

FRANKIE: No, Miss Marrin, Preese! Boss, quick cover your ears!

WOO: Shuttup Frankie!

FRANKIE: Yes, Boss!

MAXIE: Would you prefer if I show you?

SYDNEY: NO! PLEASE NO! (Sydney's wheezing is fast climbing to a crescendo.)

FRANKIE: I beg you Miss Marrin… Preese, No!

MAXIE: O.K. Sydney, I'll let you off this time. Like you said, it is Christmas. See? It’s buttoned again.

(Sydney's wheezing hits a crescendo and deflates with a shudder.)

excerpt from "THE CRIMSON COBRA" copyright 1993 Marcel Nunis

Here is one of the skits we did on the radio that I mentioned in a previous post. It runs about 3 minutes and may take a bit to load.

UPDATE: 7:36 PM
I came across this blog posting that tells a disturbing story on the Iraq/Afganistan situation. It includes a link to the forum that the rant is about. Almost makes Abu-Graib seem mild in comparison.

But the rest of you can partake in Scary Squirrel World. Enjoy. Here is a counterpart who is a blogger.

Years ago, when I was terrorizing the airwaves on the local college station I did a show called Fourplay. Other than the obvious play on the sexual connotation of the name... There were actually 4 of us, who for half an hour, once a week "played"on the radio. It was supposed to be a "comedy" show ala "Firesign Theatre" or the"Goon Show," but after the first episode we collectively decided to promo it as "a show where anything can happen... and often did." This was safer than claiming that what we did was comedy.

Anyway, one of the bits we did was called " Magic on the Radio" and in our first show we made the Fresno Water Tower disappear... on the radio! Pretty spectacular , huh?

Anyway, lately, I've got to thinking (usually things get a little dangerous when I do) that I attempt something similar on my blog. Not magic tricks.... impressions. My friends have told me that I do good impressions. Sure, I can do the Marlon Brando and the Jimmy Stewarts... but I specialize in the obscure.

The impression I'm going to do today is from that long forgotten classic "Bobby Deerfield," starring Al Pacino and Marthe Keller. Since it is a "long forgotten classic" I figured that this needs some setup before I attempt this impression - remember, I like doing obscure impressions.

PREMISE: Bobby Deerfield (Al Pacino), a famous American race car driver on the European circuit, falls in love with the enigmatic Lillian Morelli (Marthe Keller), who is terminally ill. (from imdb.com)

THE SETUP: In this scene, Bobby makes an attempt to show Lillian that he can be spontaneous - something that she has accused him of not being. So, he awkwardly launches and with much trepidation into his impression of Mae West. (see how obscure this is... I will be doing Al Pacino doing Mae West!)

Are we ready? I'm a little rusty.... but here goes.


ME as AL:

Um

my brother says that I do a great impression of Mae West.

Who is May West?

Um


She was some kind of a





sex bomb back in the States.

(stands up and poses as Mae West)

They tell me you're selling notions



..........what kind of notions are you selling,

big boy?



Um



Come up and see me some time

big boy.


(singing)

A

good man

is hard to find





big boy.


Um


That's it.


So, what do you think? Not bad, huh?

Here are three from the past that I can recall:

(this one was posted last week)
"Most of the conflicts in the world have been perpetuated on the delusion that God needs help."

"Egotistical behavior is merely an illumination of that person's limitations and unwillingness to learn new tricks"

" If everything was perfect, we would have nothing to strive for and ambition would be obsolete."

You've met Jimmy and Audrey in my last 2 HNT posts. This is Stan- my left foot. (Yes, there are more body parts with names... sometimes I feel like legion.) Stan is a whole size smaller than Sam (my right foot) as a result of polio (affected but not defected) and was bestowed the moniker by a cousin. "Skinny Stanley!" Here is the story of Stan's scar.

I was 8 or 9 and living in my birth country of Malaysia. One day, I hopped on my child-sized bike to visit my buddies who lived in a squatter village not far from home. I was on a mission to show-off that the training wheels had been removed and I was now a badass biker rolling on 2 wheels! This was major stuff for a kid. As little boys are wont to do, I left home without informing my parents of my intended expedition. Besides, they would have insisted that I not leave unless my feet were enveloped in some manner of footwear. What was the point of that???

To get to the village, I had to ride the "tunnel". (The actual colloquial term used, translates directly as "The Long Hole.") This was a dirt path that snaked through about 100 yards of lush, tropical foliage on either side that eventually opened up to the shacks that made up the village.

There was a local lore about a creature that lived in the thick of the "Long Hole." Many claimed to have seen its devil eyes watching as they traveled through in the dark of night. Others felt they were being followed... and when they turned to look, there was nothing there. There were even reports of attacks, though none were ever substantiated. Still, it spooked most of the people living in the area. The conventional wisdom was, "Never go in alone and no matter what... move slow."

It was a bright afternoon, so, I confidently ventured in and rode along the dirt path toward my destination... riding a little faster than usual. As I turned a blind bend, I heard what sounded like a muffled yelp behind me. I didn't stop but rode even faster as my young, but fertile imagination was bouncing the lore of "the creature" frantically through my brain. Then I heard panting and spied something out of the corner of my eye. It got closer fast. I caught a quick look and it was a dog! The creature I had heard so much about was of the canine persuasion... and was now chasing after my bike! This only spurred me to pedal faster. My focus entirely trained on the path ahead looking out for potholes or rocks that could instantly derail my efforts to escape.

She came closer and closer. My legs pumped with as much gusto as my young body could muster. Soon the crazed barking canine was running beside me. Just as I approached the end of the tunnel, I saw the bitch turn it's head toward my furiously peddling left foot, Stan. I then felt what I thought was the cold wetness of her nose. The dog suddenly decelerated, probably not wanting to venture past the safety of the "tunnel." I was convinced I had won the race with the mangy monster and stopped the bike a safe distance away to gloat triumphant. Besides, it was a dog! It was only a dog. I had busted the myth of the creature.

No sooner had I stopped, when my friend's dad (who had witnessed the whole thing) bolted from his rattan chair on the verandah and was grabbing Stan with both hands. I was suddenly surrounded by what seemed to be the entire village. There was a lot of frantic gesturing and raised excited voices. I felt like a hero until I realized that the tone in the voices around me were not raised in jubilation but in panicked concern.

I looked at my friend's father's pained expression and shifted my gaze further down to his hands cupping Stan. It was then I saw the sticky crimson life nectar slowly ooze between his fingers. I pulled his hand away from my foot to expose a little bloody flap of skin that once covered the bones and flesh underneath. It was then I felt the pain and began to scream. 12 stitches and a painful rabies shot later, I decided that it was a bad idea to ride my bike without wearing shoes.

Postscript: The dog met it's demise several weeks later. Felled by the hand of a villager who was tired of being terrorized and convinced that the dog was more dangerous now that she had tasted human blood. I was told that Stan was the one and only thing she bit. A few days later, 7 hungry pups emerged along the dirt path of the tunnel. One had a bent tail. They were all eventually adopted by the folks of the village.

Happy HNT.

It was yet another day of sitting around and listening, worksheets, etc. Not what I would exactly call a Woo-hoo kinda day. But, living through the day is better than not, I guess. I left the staff meeting early so I could get some business done outside of work... and work won't be work anymore in about 4 and a half weeks.

HNT
Half-Nekkid Thursday is tomorrow. Still thinking about what I'm going to post. I may post early as I have to get my butt out early tomorrow.

From The Front
So, I'm sitting in a staff meeting at the moment. Pancakes are the order of tthe morning. Everybody seems to be wearing fake smiles after the long summer break.

More updates later...

UPDATE: 4:08 PM
So, I'll be working at the job until September 15th... it's official now. On the 16th I leave for SF for the Fringe there. It was interesting being at work today. It's as if all the worries and stress related to the job has melted into thin air. Mainly because I'll only be there for 4 and a half more weeks and NONE of the inherent issues relate to me any more. Of course, I'll be doing double duty as I'll be starting my other gig next week just to create a transition in the income stream... so, in effect I'll be doing double duty. But, I think this will be a pretty good period to squirrel away some money as well. This next step will afford me less cash but more freedom to get back on track.

Went in today to arrange details for my leaving. After two hours the administration and I came to an understanding that I would stay for a month in order to transition someone into my position. So, unless they re-think things over... I'm working for at least another month which will provide both sides to work out an easier transition. SSM, this means that it is a little more definite that I'm going up to the Fringe as I'll stop work the day before we leave for the city.

The evening started off with a Rogue Core meeting. Certain changes and aspects of the coming festival were explained... blah, blah blah... Once business was accomplished the party got underway. The pics below were taken by SSM.

Devon, Rubi & Gina soaking it all in.


Amber and Devon holding up the truck.


Karen & RP advertizing their beer of choice.


Randy loading up as RP loads in.


RP and Lecram discussing the merits of roasting chicken in a barbecue.


Cindy telling a whopper.


Captain Whiffle (right) discussing the merits of the whopper.


Jade, John & APJ sit around as Cindy performs her Egyptian moves.


Thereminman the latest victim of the Devil's Brew.

It's 8:30 ish in the AM and I'm posting this now as the rest of my day is spoken for. I had sworn to post everyday and this will meet the quota.

Shout out to Cindy for the encouraging words. It will be done.

I made a decision a couple of days ago to kick up my food business again as an income stream. I've always loved cooking and it would keep me on the property for most of the day. My time commitment would only require about 3 hours a day during my least creative hours. It's true that my earnings would fall to less than half of what I was earning at the job, but there are definate pros to this decision. It will give my mother and me an activity to share in...something that has been missing for a while. I already have three clients and hope to scare up some more over the next week.

So, it is now official. I have quit my job.

Now the meat burning! There is one today. It's part meeting for the Rogue Core to kick off the upcoming year but it is open to anyone. SSM has requested barbeque roast chicken. Should be fun. Cya at the turn around. Happy Saturday!

First off, thanks to those of you who visited for my first HNT and posted comments. They were all very encouraging. Second, for some strange reason, two-thirds into the comments, folks began addressing me as "SIR"! I appreciate it, but that word frankly scares the snot out of me. Lecram will be fine, thank you. Third, some of my friends who saw the post accused me of playing the "pity the poor cripple" card... something I have not done in over 25 years. That just goes to show how little they really do know of me. Jimmy is as much a part of me as... my penis is... get over it!

Now for this week's HNT pic...

You met Jimmy last week... this week it's Audrey's (the bigger hand) turn. Yes, my parents named Audrey too. Not sure why, but it never was an issue with me.

Audrey was always there for me. Thanks to Jimmy, Audrey's talents and abilities were exceptionally enhanced beyond the common. People have always been amazed at how Audrey tied shoe laces, or buttoned up a shirt, or lit a match without dropping the book or box. In younger days, Audrey would use Jimmy to perform a whip-like slap that could cause severe psychological and physical damage that sent many a bully scurrying away in fear. This maneuver has since been banned in civilized societies.

Audrey has very often been described as "the most talented hand ever."... especially from women for various and sundry reasons. But, ultimately Jimmy always received the cooing, fondling, attention... and when I was briefly married - the ring. Oh, Audrey did have her share of bling-bling but decided some years ago that it really bogged down her abilities to perform at optimum.

There was a time Audrey threatened to run away to join the circus... but she ultimately knew that she and Jimmy were an inseparable pair. She has often waved off suggestions of Jimmy being amputated, insisting that she could not... would not exist without Jimmy.

So, to Audry - a toast! To her talent, to her expertise ... to the best right hand Jimmy and I have ever known!

... and I'm fast realizing that I need to score a new gig or starve. That's usually a good motivator.

HNT
Looking forward to this tomorrow. Not sure what I'm going to post yet. There have been requests for an Audrey story and pic.

SSM's NEW WHEELS
Talked SSM into giving me a ride just so he could show off his new ride. We joked that it's a Soccer Dad's car. I do have to say that it's a nice ride. So, now he owns 2 cars which sets him on the path down to Yuppiedom. How is that for a scary thought??? Perhaps he could change his name to SSD- Scary Soccer Dad.

AIRPLANE JAYNE
Got an email from her reporting that everything is A-OK. Now all she has to do is take it easy and SHUDDUP! I suspect to compensate she will be blogging wildly!

THE MEMORY
Lelly is the only one who has chimed in with one in a comment to one of my previous posts. Lelly - post it on your site! It's a great one! In fact, I'm encouraging everyone to think of one and post it. The original idea came from the premise of a movie I watched.
THE IDEA: If there was ONE memory or perfect moment that YOU could take into eternity... one that you would ONLY exist in for eternity - what would it be?

UPDATE: 2:45 PM
Have just finished setting up performer updates in the Rogue Report blog. I'm hoping this will be a weekly feature.

More updates later on this post...

ON THE TRUCK
So, last night I called Chris on the Coast and he agreed to come by to take a look at the truck. The main problem was a frayed wire that was shorting everything out. To make it worth his while (and mine) he is tuning up the machine so that I can get it smogged. More money.

THE TRUCK
I was giving a ride to a friend today. Parked it while he did his business at the Postoffice. He gets back and it won't start up.There seems to be an electrical issue as NOTHING is coming on. The battery is only a year old but I didn't want to deal with it in the heat of the day. Perhaps this evening. I'm hoping it's just a fuse.

THE HEAT
Still looking for a new gig. Hopefully something will come by soon. In the meantime I'm just staying out of the heat as much as possible. It's been pretty rank the past couple of days with the humidity that is higher than normal. Sticky.

ON A TANGENT
A friend lately reminded me of a statement I made several years back that she thought would be a good premise for a play. The statement was... "Most of the conflicts in the world have been perpetuated on the delusion that God needs help." How would I craft that?

A MEMORY
In a recent post I commented on the movie, "After Life" that I had watched. I know that I'm still thinking about that one memory that I would keep. Not sure if any of you have since I've been posting like crazy and it may have been lost in the fray. This is just a reminder.

Heard the sad news last night that Peter Jennings passed peacefully. I admired his work and watched his news broadcast since I came to this country 26 years ago. Perhaps now he will finally get that exclusive with the Almighty.

I have just set up a Rogue Report blog. I'll probably be tweaking it all day... plus working on the Rogue Festival site.

I am trying to set up the rogue report to be a news portal for:
1.) News and Updates from the Rogue front.
2.) Related articles on Fringe Festivals.
3.) Updates on previous Rogue performers and artists.

I am hoping the report will be updated twice a week with stories, articles, etc. Today there is an AP news story on the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. To read it go here.

more updates later...

No real updates as I've been working on the computer all day.

Went out to the Woodward Shakespeare Festival production of Much Ado About Nothing last night. Ran into the 2 Karens there and it was nice to have the company. For a start-up festival I thought they did a good job. Some in the company are still bristling over the review in the Bee. Oh well. Many have quizzed me about mine... which really is of no consequence. They should be proud of what they have accomplished. It is a major undertaking that deserves kudos for the effort. One of the Karens gave me a ride home and we chatted until 2 AM while sipping wine outside the office. A very pleasant evening.

This morning some of my All Too Real Player kids came by for a meeting. Looks like they want to continue developing shows. So, from this point on they will be rehearsing here.

Going out to a barbecue later at Cindy's. Time for some meat burning with some blog buddies.

Here are a couple of sites that you may enjoy.

Trip out with optical illusions.

Fifty word fiction.

The unveiling of the 2005 Muse was a simple dignified affair over at Ashtree Studios last night. There was a small crowd there including the late artist Enrique Lopez's partner Ben. We are honored to have this painting representing the upcoming festival as it personifies vibrancy of the event.

After the unveiling we headed out to Salon 637 where Thereminman was woooing with his instrument at an exhibit of album art. Very fun stuff. Then to the SoMo part of town to check out the galleries there. It was hot but lots of folks were out catching the art.

Then it was time for a libation so we headed out to the Veni Vidi Vici patio spending therest of the night chatting and drinking.

Half -Nikked Thursday
For all those of you who came by... thanks for visiting. Thank you for your welcomes and kind comments. Some of you left some questions which I will answer at next week's HNT. Cheers!

Updates later...

UPDATE: 1:04PM

Let me introduce you to Jimmy. Jimmy is my left hand. Jimmy was a victim of Mr. Polio when I was 4 and a half months old. Actually, half my body was affected but Mr. Polio only left one defect... Jimmy. It was my parents who named him. (The right hand is Audrey.) I have other body parts with names butthatsanotherstorynevermindanyway... I thought Jimmy was the perfect subject for my first Half-Nikked Thursday.

Over the years Jimmy and I have heard it all: cripple, one-arm bandit, handicap, disabled, etc. I prefer "inconvenienced." It seems a lot more appropriate ... at least for me. Thanks to my upbringing my parents set me on the path of independence from the "git go." For this I thank them.

Most people who meet me hardly notice Jimmy... and when they do they are all beside themselves apologizing for not noticing in the first place. It usually happens when Jimmy takes on a strange pose (like in the picture) and they freak. Then they suddenly look at Audrey and the obvious difference in size and ability between the 2 hands.

Most Popular Question: Can he feel anything?
Answer: You Betcha!

Over the years I have noticed that beautiful women like to hold, fondle and play with Jimmy. Jimmy has been a wonderful asset... and not just with the women. Jimmy has allowed me to explore abilities that I may not have considered if I was completely able-bodied. I sometimes say "If you want to find the easy way to do something... just ask the cripple guy."

I just got done watching a Japanese movie entitled "After Life". I quite enjoyed it and would recommend it as a rental. It intrigued me because the last real play I wrote was called "The Dead Guy Show." (click for excerpt)

The premise takes place at a "transitional" station where dead people go to. They are given 3 days to choose 1 memory that was significant... a perfect moment, so to speak. The moment is then recreated and once the person has re-experienced it, they "move on", everything else is forgotten and they exist into eternity only within that moment.

This got me thinking about which moment I would pick. I'm still thinking. I'll post it when I find it. Do you have one? Think about it and post it.

Half-Nekkid Thursday
SSM and I will be participating in this starting tomorrow. If you are interested... click on the link to check out the guidelines.

Buck Update
SSM had him but he has gone out into the real world. If you see him... you know what to do. Mega Kudos to Kien for posting about Buck's cousin across the pond, Mr. Pound Coin.

2006 Rogue Muse Unveiling
Yes, it's happening at ArtHop tomorrow. The 2006 Muse will be housed at Ashtree Studio, 1035 Fulton Street. Festivities will take place between 5 and 8 PM.

A previous episode.

Oh sure, he goes out to his bank today at noon to put a check in. Then what does he do? He pulls out $60... all in Twenties! Have I already told you how much I hate these guys? At least he put those posers in the back pocket where we did not have to put up with their snobbery.

A street person approaches as he walks over to Drug Far for his supply of cigs. Me and the other 2 Ones are all excited. I'm practically trying to creep out of the jean pocket just to flash a little green... make it easy for him to whipme out and place a toothless gratefulsmile on this poor bum's face. Before the bum could even move his lips to execute a well worn line I hear, "Sorry, Man. No change."

LIAR! There are three of us in here plus oodles of change! Heartless brute. Just wait till you are down on your luck, buddy... this little exchange will come back to haunt you! I'm pissed but the other 2 Ones, Ducat and Cash, are gibbering away, all excited that we stil had a chance of being spent at the store.

"He's not going to spend us, guys."

I was right. He paid with a Twenty instead. Then he went home to hibernate in the cool of his air conditioned room.

Later in the day, he set out again. I was beginning to give up on ever being spent. This pocket was beginning to feel like a prison. Come on, spend me already!

He stopped by a friend's and they chatted about car troubles over beers. Ducat perked up. I shot one of those "Puleeze! Those troubles are paid off by credit cards these days!" Ducat comfortably slipped back into the mood of dejection that he was floating earlier. Cash continued reminiscing about the good old days when spending was faster. Christmas shopping frenzies, ninty-nine cent stores and poker games. All fast transactions that we may never experience ever again. Cash began to sob at the thought of spending the rest of his days holed up in a Piggy Bank.

Suddenly, his hand reached in and I felt him tug at me. The next thing I knew was being placed in his friend's hand. I was part of the payment for a debt! I really didn't care about the details. Here was someone new and a possible spending frenzy once again became a bright possibility! I was on the move again.

He got into his truck and drove away. I knew I would miss Ducat and Cash, but I had a feeling that this new person I was given to would spend me soon. I was still in Fresno, California... but I was on the move again.

The next Buck episode.

He spent a big fat Twenty and got me as change. $8.75 to be exact from a place that sells Mediterranean food. There was a Five and a couple of One's in that exchange. Not a bad bunch but we've stayed in his front jean pocket for the last 3 days!

Come on, spend me already! Oh, let me introduce myself. One Dollar is the name but I prefer to go by Buck. Serial Number J08500111b... 2003 A series. Occupation, legal tender. This is my story.

I was nearly spent yesterday when he went to buy a pack of cigs but he whipped out my buddy the Five instead. He's been trying to cut down - even quit but to no avail yet. So, here we are hanging around in the pocket waiting to be spent.

To tell you the truth... I hate hanging around like this. Sure, the company is great but there's not a lot happening to this guy. His excuse to do as little as possible is that the heat outside is in the triple digits.

He went out on Saturday night. A friend came to pick him up and they went to a local pub. Thought I was going to be spent there but he paid with a couple of Twenties he pulled out of the ATM. Hate those Twenties. They think they're all that and change. Did you know that most Twenties don't talk to us Fives and Ones? What is that about? Pompus pricks!

Anyway, to make a long story short we got back at 4:30 in the AM. This was after a night of drinking, skinny dipping and what not. Geez!

It's Monday and I'm still stuck in his pocket somewhere in Fresno, California. I wonder how long I'll be in this town? Come on... spend me already! Hope he gets out a little today.

Track Buck's Real Life Adventures.
Rules to Post a Buck Adventure.
1.) Anyone can post a "Buck" adventure. (If you do... send me a comment announcing it.)
2.) Buck's adventures should be the story of YOUR adventure from the time Buck came into your life till he left.
3.) These adventures can be fictional but Buck's entry into your life MUST be "picked up" from whence he was last spent.
4.) The first line of the post MUST be a link to his last adventure.
5.) As a style... Buck may choose to comment on your adventures... SO, the adventures MUST be written from his point of view.

fresnofamous

"Brank"... started as a typo but soon won me over as a merge of "brand spankin". That's how I am deciding to look at it. A brand spankin new week with the open possibilities of adventure.

Made a few changes on the blog. Got a new clock. I like this new clock. It's groovy! Broke up "Da Links" and added to "Da Blog Roll" with links to Cindy, Blithers and Captain Whiffle's blogs. May add some more soon.

Have also signed in to Technorati just to see who has linked to me blog.

And the counter I installed a couple of weeks ago now reads 2442! Dang!

SHOUT OUT TO: Lud Boi... you should be starting a blog!

SHOUT OUT TO: Vert... get back a bloggin... we miss ya!

More updates later...

UPDATE 11:25 AM
In an effort to "get back on the bike" (as Kien would put it) I have decided to write the adventures of "Buck"... think of it as "Call of the Moolah." Taking a cue from the Where's George site I plan on tracking the dollar. In fact, I registered Buck on the site and he even has his own tracking page. How cool is that?

Anyway, there are certain conventions that need to be set in place in order for this to work.
1.) Anyone can post a "Buck" adventure. (If you do... send me a comment announcing it.)
2.) Buck's adventures should be the story of YOUR adventure from the time Buck came into your life till he left.
3.) These adventures can be fictional but Buck's entry into your life MUST be "picked up" from whence he was last spent.
4.) The first line of the post MUST be a link to his last adventure.
5.) As a style... Buck may choose to comment on your adventures... SO, the adventures MUST be written from his point of view.

UPDATE 1:28 PM
This is beautiful. First time I'm seeing photos of the place.